Life of Ziggy
by Rocket Wolf
Summary: One minute I'm here, and the next, I'm in the world of Pokemon - Hoenn to be exact. In the body of a pokemon. Not really sure how I got here, but what I do know, is I need to find a way to get out ASAP...and I'll do whatever it takes to accomplish that.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

Where is this?

The bright light expands around me as I open my eyes – and, boy, it's a _really_ bright light, too. It's right there in my face, blinding me. I turn my head away from it and stare to the side, only to realise I am in a small room. The walls are coated in a refreshing light yellow colour, making for a more relaxing setting. I look down and notice I'm lying down somewhere. A bed? How did I get here?

I try to get up, but something holds me back and I collapse back onto the soft surface. I feel the burst of pain in my gut as I fall and I moan, bringing attention to myself, but I simply cannot help it.

"Oh!" cries a voice, before a woman in a white and pink gown comes to assist me. A Nurse Joy. She strokes me gently on the neck. "Shhh...it's OK. You're going to be OK."

Wait a minute! I'm in the hospital? My heart starts beating twice as fast and suddenly I remember what happened. I must have started to panic when I figured out where I was, because the Nurse Joy is now trying to flatten my body back down again, calming me with her soft voice.

"I can't be here," I refuse to believe, my head laying on the pillow obediently, although I can feel myself panting hard while my body rises and falls quickly from my hastened breaths. A Chansey by my bedside attempts to assist her master in getting me to relax.

"You _are _here," she corrects, pulling a blanket back over me. "But it's OK; you're going to be fine. My human is good at her work. She will make you feel better."

Don't you just hate it when doctors always say you're going to be 'OK'? You could be half-dead for all you know, your heart nearly about to shut down but what do you know of that? I'm going to be OK. Of course I'm going to be OK. It feels like I'm bleeding to death from the inside out – yeah, I'm perfectly fine here. Just peachy.

"What Town is this?" I inquire, attempting to lift my head again. For some reason, my thoughts are mangled and my perception is distorted. From falling unconscious? Possibly. But I have no idea where I am – I know I was on my way to find Palkia, the great beast that would be able to help me escape from this nightmare of reality and bring me back, back home...but what of that? Where was I before then? My head aches as I strain to remember the details: Was I attacked? Yes, I was attacked...but by whom, or what? And where, exactly?

"It's OK, calm down." the Chansey again assures, pushing my head down gently to lay it back onto that stupid, fluffy pillow. I don't want that pillow now. I don't want to rest; I want answers. Somehow, the pillow, the Arceus-forsaken (did I just say _Arceus_-forsaken?) pillow reels me in to its comforting, extra firm plush. As my head hits it for the second time, I can actually feel my eyes slightly closing from the warm, familiar impact. A bed...how long has it been since I lay in a bed, wrapped up in a blanket with my head to a pillow? Why, it was back in my own world, when I was a...

"She took a strong blow to her lower stomach." comes the nurses's voice. She's speaking quietly, whispering almost, as if she thinks I cannot hear what she was saying – as if, as a pokemon, I cannot _comprehend _such a language as complex as English. But she doesn't know. Even though I haven't always been a pokemon, I've been one long enough to understand that we're not entirely dumb. We can understand the commands the humans throw at us – why should they come to the conclusion that we cannot understand speech? Boulder dash, I say!

Oh, great. Now I think I've totally accepted my pokemon-ness in full. I was afraid this would happen, from the very beginning I was afraid – and now it's happening. In fact, I forget so much about being a human that lying here in this bed, much like the bed of a human's oddly familiarises me with my past life....my _real _life, and it comforts me. My real life...you know, the one where pokemon didn't even _exist, _except in video games?

"Who's pokemon even _is _it?" starts another voice from the outside (of the examining room, that is) and I register that they're still talking about me – me, the pokemon. Ha.

"We're not sure," the Nurse replies honestly. "A young trainer came in with her just this morning – said he found her lying on the ground in an unconscious state, covered in scratches and bruises and bleeding from her underbelly. She's been here all day, but so far no one has come up to claim her. We think she may be a wild pokemon, but when she heals a bit more, we can try the PokeBall Test to see for sure."

The PokeBall Test. I roll my eyes. They're going to try tossing one of those demeaning white and red orbs at me. Of course, the test will prove that I'm not a _wild _pokemon as they thought and with that, they aren't going to release me until someone steps up to claim me. Wonderful. At this rate, I'll never be able to resume my mission...I'll never find Palkia...I'll never get home.

And yet, somehow...

My heart feels like it's stretched in half. I want to become a human again, _me _again. That's how it's always been. Getting out of here is my priority, and the quicker I get out, the better. Or is it?

I feel myself thinking back to Tim. Tim. The one who trained me. The one who had made it possible for me to get this far. The one who loved me and cared for me and took me under his wing when I especially needed it, back when I came into this world. My trainer. My master. My friend.

I want to leave, but I know my Tim is out there somewhere. He's out there looking for me I bet, because I know how much he cares. He's not like some of those other _trainers _who greedily use their pokemon as tools to collect those bad-excuse, good-for-nothing plastic badges. He cares, he really cares, and I would hate to pain him to leave this world forever. But I must...I have to get out of here; I do not belong here. I want more than ever to have my life back, but I miss Tim. It's been a while since I've seen him. I wonder how he's doing.

The door opens and in comes that Nurse Joy again, followed by a few others – maybe four...no, five of them, and when I turn my head to look, I can see that they're all real-deal doctors, with their long, white coats...robes, really. My head feels too weak to look directly into any of the faces, but I can tell they are doctors by the way they talk in their low voices and how their white robes are covered in many pockets filled with a lot of nasty tools that such medical people carry around.

"So, this is the one, eh? Wow, you're right – I don't think that pokemon is native to Sinnoh. I wonder how it got all the way here?"

"With its stomach torn open like that, too. How long has it been that way?"

The Nurse Joy's voice, distinguishable amongst the rest, comes back at them with an honest answer. "I haven't examined her too closely," she replies. "But the wound still looks fresh. I don't think she injured herself too long ago – at least, not long enough for infection to spread. You should be able to go through with the procedure and stitch her up, good as new. I think we're lucky that nice boy found her when he did."

How smart she is! How stunningly wise! Yeah, go to the Nurse to get all your answers...after all, despite the fact that _I'm_ the one laying here on the examining table, _she's _the one who has a say in what's gonna happen. You know, if only humans could understand pokemon the way pokemon can understand humans, everything would be _so _much easier. Can't they see that all I want right now is to get out of here? This is the last place I want to be – can't they see that? Have I not made my point clear?

Of course not. I'm a pokemon – silly me. I can just imagine how pathetic I look right now, spread out across the table like animal roadkill in the middle of the street, guts bleeding out in a large red and black puddle for the selfish maggots to feast upon. I don't know how bad my injury is (apparently, it's still fresh – thanks for pointing that out, Nurse Joy!) but getting myself stitched myself up is really unnecessary at this point. I've seriously come close to finding Palkia, I can feel it – and just as long as I can get out and find the space monster, I should be returned safely back to my own body and nothing that has happened to me as a pokemon will even matter. If I could explain that to the doctors, perhaps they wouldn't be so inclined to waste their time patching up somebody that will cease to exist in this world when they _could _be using that time to help the other pokemon that need and probably _want _their help.

But no. The victim doesn't get a say. She can't explain herself, can she?!

"My word!" a male doctor exclaims, his gloved hand gently brushing against my face and down my neck. "Look at all those scratches! What have you gotten yourself into out there?"

"Heh," I reply, though my voice per usual falls deaf on human ears. "You couldn't even begin to _imagine _what I've been through since I've been here."

"You're lucky we got you in when we did!" another doctor, female, adds in. "Don't worry, we'll fix you up and you'll be back on your feet in no time."

"Yeah, yeah. I know," I sigh. "I've already been told I'm going to be OK a _million _times. No need to bring it up again."

"Nothing seems to be wrong with her throat." Nurse Joy laughs, after hearing me speak (which to them, sounds like me saying my name over and over and over again, of course – degrading). "I think she's letting us know she's ready for her surgery." Then, to me: "It's all right, sweetie. We'll get started right away and when you wake up, you'll feel good and better again, OK?"

_Surgery?!?!_

That's it: I need to get out of here ASAP. I never agreed to this and I need to let those crazy doctors know it. I don't have _time_ for this!

Despite the fact that my legs are as tired as ever and my stomach is pretty much _burning_, I hoist myself up off the bed and prepare to make a run for the door, opened but a wee crack for my convenience. Unfortunately, whilst getting up, I find in dismay that something seems to be chaining me down and keeping me from making my escape. I struggle, shaking my body this way and that to free myself. One of the doctors yells and makes a dive for something I've tripped over (Was that my IV? Oops). Several others gang up on me like a pack of wolves, each taking me by an arm or a leg and forcing me back down.

"Shhhh! It's OK! Settle down, it's OK, it's OK..." a female promises as she pins me down by the throat – she's trying to sound soothing or coaxing by the way she speaks ever so softly, but she can't fool me. I know what they're up to, and I'm not going to let it happen. I continue to fight the many human hands that suppress me, even reaching down to bite at one if necessary (hey, my teeth might not be that sharp, but at least it would distract them for a couple seconds long enough for me to make a get away).

"This here's a wild one!" exclaims another doctor, the same one who had checked my face earlier. "I don't think we can hold it down much longer!"

"The anesthetic! Administer the anesthetic!"

Get me the hell out of here! Nothing about me matters...can't you see? I'm not supposed to be a pokemon! I don't _need _surgery! Don't you doctors ever listen?! Hey, I'm talking to you - !

Pain. It sticks into my neck through a needle, allowing the poisonous toxins of human medical care to disperse freely into my bloodstream and take control of my entire body. I can feel it go through me, numbing me and paralysing me from my head down to my toes until I find I can't struggle any longer – it's impossible! I melt into a puddle such as a Popsicle having sat out in the sun, and I just keep melting...melting..._melting_.

That psycho woman – she drugged me! That insane, neurotic lady of a doctor _drugged _me!

But somehow, that doesn't even matter anymore. As my limbs are going limp, I can barely remember where I am at all. The colours around me blur into a magnificent mixture of white and yellow, almost cream, in a smooth texture that resembles much of a waterfall, different cans of paint spilling out and pouring down over a large canvas of which I am the lucky viewer. Such a painting is a work of art that I could stare at for hours, that simple blur of bright, sunny colours. But what's this? I can smell something pleasant, too – flowers, maybe a garden roses or chrysanthemums, or was that the stench of fresh fruit? Strawberries, yes, many strawberries, all fresh and ready to be eaten. That smell overtakes me and it's everywhere, in so many places that I have no choice but to inhale the fragrance. But who wouldn't want to? So delicious, so luscious, so...so...

Curse that woman! Curse her! And yet what she's done to me is too beautiful to resist. What little of my body that I can still feel collapses completely, and the voices around me all become one, just one doctor, not five and a nurse. I want to stay awake, to find a way out, but it just feels so much better to let myself go, afloat in such a wonderful world where misery no longer exists – I'm a pokemon, but I'm OK with it. My guts may be spilling out, but I cannot feel them anymore, so who cares?

I become aware of myself slipping from my consciousness and suddenly a small sense of panic washes over me; what am I _doing_? I'm letting myself fall for the evil, horrible anesthetic, and now...what if I never wake up? I certainly won't be a pokemon anymore, but I won't be a human either, because I'll be...

I want to stay awake, to keep the Grim Reaper from greedily snatching at this body, the one that isn't even _mine_...but I'm too tired to keep watch. My eyelids suddenly feel like heavy stones, that of which I no longer have the strength to life up, and before I know it, my entire blurred world of yellow and white, roses and chrysanthemums, strawberries and melting Popsicle seem to blend in together before being met by a dark sense of nothingness where I no longer feel alive but very much dead, unable to control the still body of which I have been so unfortunate to be trapped and concealed within.

If I ever make it out of this alive, I swear, guts or no guts, I'm going to get away from here, so far away that not even some kind of fancy chip you may insert into my brains will be able to track me. And when I get away, as far as possible, I will find Palkia. Mark my words, I will find him...her...it. And when I do, I'll be out of this nightmare of a world, back to my own reality, a place where you'll _never _be able to get to no matter how hard you look.

And all the while, I will be looking back and laughing my donkey off at this whole thing, how you stupid humans took me captive and shoved a strawberry-filled needle into my veins, mistaking me for a creature lower than yourself – when in actuality, I was smarter than the whole lot of you. Ha...yeah, I'll laugh at that. You poorly trained doctors, not even being able to tell a pokemon from a human.

When that day comes, I swear, I'm never going to so easily take my life for granted again, that luxurious life of being able to be heard, understood and treated as one of my own kind again.

_If _that day ever comes.

...

_A/N: Well, it's been a while since I've written anything fanfiction lately but I've been working on this one for a while, wondering whether or not I should post it, since readers of my other fics that haven't been updated in a year may not be completely happy with me for working on new material. x3 Finally, after debating it a bit, I came to somewhat of a consensus. _

_Anyway, even though it's that crazy time at the end of the year again where I most likely won't have a lot of time to write fanfiction, I decided I may as well start with the prologue just to get it out there (once I post this baby, I'll have no choice but to update), and since I've started writing Chapter One before deciding to make a prologue, that said chapter will be here more likely sooner than later. _

_Since there most possibly won't be many author notes on this 'fic in the future, and seeing as the summary was vague, here's the details with this story, project, whatchamacallit: I've decided to try to branch out my writing with a new challenge, writing in both first person and present tense, two things in which I feel I need to improve on a bit. Yay, for challenges. oO I haven't written much of anything fiction-related at all for a good while aside from a couple roleplays, so the work of this story, especially in the beginning may be a bit iffy...feel free to chuck out your lovely words of wisdom and the marvelous kind of criticism that tells me what I should improve on. I'd rather not accept flaming but, you know, if you really want to, go ahead. :)_

_To end, I hope any readers who I may snag the attention of are willing to be a bit patient with me (especially those from my older 'fics!) and enjoy any work of me to come...this story especially, as I look forward to engaging in it. _

_Toodleoo! xD _

_- Wolfy, Gardie, Rocket Wolf (AKA: the writer of many names)_


	2. Awakening

**Chapter One**

I'm just laying there at first – I'm quite sure I must've just woken up from a wonderful dream because the next thing I know, the sun's blasted rays are shining a terrible light onto me and I begin groaning, reaching for my blankets in attempts to bring myself back somewhere where I can hide from the morning sun and trek back into Dreamland. After about five or six unsuccessful attempts at grabbing at my blankets, I moan even louder to express my disappointment. They must've fallen off the bed while I was tossing and turning around in it. Just my sorry luck.

Giving in to the start of the day, I roll over to my side and scratch my bum for a second. I flinch a little bit, taking notice that my jammies somehow got a lot more bristly than they were when I first got into bed the night before. Strange.

Finally sitting up, I stretch out my arms and give out a large yawn. Well, time to start another day in the usual repetitive life-cycle. I rub the sleep out of my eyes and yawn again, smacking my crusty lips. As the world around me becomes clearer, I am faced with the usual sight of a luscious forest with the sun peeking out from above the trees and the sweet smell of dew-tipped flowers as they waver in the wind, as well as -

Wait a minute. This isn't my bedroom! At least, it didn't look like this before. How queer. I must still be dreaming without even realising it.

I reach down to pinch myself. Not that I want to get out of Dreamland, but I sure as hell don't want to be late for school. As the pinch is delivered to my side, I give out a yelp of pain but other than that...nothing really happens. I'm still here in the middle of this strange, enchanted forest.

"Well..." I say, scratching my chin. "I suppose if I'm not intending on waking up soon, I may as well enjoy a couple more hours here if I can." As my fingers feel my chin, I'm startled by the fact that my chin seems almost...furry. Uh-oh. If I wake up today with a beard growing out of my chin, I'll have to find a way to shave it off – I mean, beards aren't exactly in style for teens nowadays, especially female teens such as myself. I rub at my chin more ferociously to try to feel for a beard – luckily, the furry area does not extend from very far off my face, and that's a good sign.

"That's nice to know." I mutter to myself. "I don't have a beard – just a furry chin. Yeah, I'm going to be al-right now. Just perfect..." I rolled my eyes. "Ah well...it's a dream, what'cha gonna do? Though pro'lly one of my more stranger ones. Maybe I should try laying off the caffeine and sugar so late into the night..."

"_Hey_, you! Quit talking to yourself! You wanna wake the rest of us up?" a voice calls. They don't seem rather happy, in fact they're complaining. However, this is my own bedroom and my own dream, so I don't see why I have to give in to this "somebody"'s rude request.

"Well, excuse me for being a nuisance," I retort to the latter statement. "I rather like being annoying."

"Sarcasm isn't gonna get you anywhere, kid. Now, _scram! _Unless you'd like to battle me...?"

I nearly pee myself laughing. "Battle you? What is this – Pokemon?" I hear a rustle in a nearby bush and all of a sudden, a poochyena is standing right in front of me. A _poochyena. _A freaking _pokemon_. Well, I guess I was correct in my assumption.

"Sweet mother of -!" I scream, almost falling backwards. A poochyena – this is a poochyena...and it's _talking_ to me. This is like Pokemon Mystery Dungeon with 4D graphics or something. That would definitely explain why there's an English-speaking poochyena standing in front of me. It's rather large too, come to think of it – much larger than it looked in the games at least. Its lip is lifted up to further expose one fang and as it does so, I can actually smell some kind of rancid odor coming out from within. Is that...halitosis? Pokemon can have halitosis?! I would never have even imagined...

"Hey!" the poochyena speaks again. "I told ya to get outta here before I break your neck! You have five seconds before I come over there and pulverize you!"

I lift an eyebrow – I'm not really scared of this guy...how could I be? I mean, he's a poochyena...what's he gonna do, _tackle _me? Good gravy. Still, the thing is huge, about the same size as I am – I'd rather not get in a scuffle, especially so early in the morning before I had my morning cereal. "Look pup, why don't you just go off and play fetch with your other dog friends or something?" I suggest. "I'm rather busy, I'll have you know. I just woke up in the middle of a forest in what seems to be the Pokemon World, talking to a pokemon who doesn't exactly smell particularly pleasant, and all the while I'm just trying to figure out – AAAAAHH!"

I quickly scoot to the side as the poochyena takes a dive for me. Tackle. Not a big surprise, really. I turn around to witness the poochyena sliding to a stop in the dirt after completely missing in his attempt to collide into my body.

"What the hell?" I proclaim, narrowing my eyes. All I was trying to do was ask a question, maybe explain myself. Apparently, some pokemon are ruder than they appear. "What in the world was _that _for? Can't we just talk this over like sophisticated – oop!"

Again, I move to the side as the poochyena throws himself at me. For some reason, I'm clumsier than I remember and upon evading the flying dog, my left foot almost loses balance and I have to lean against a nearby tree to keep myself from falling over completely. "Are you out of your mind?!" I yell out, grasping at the tree's bark for protection. "What'd I ever do to you? Shoo now...come on, shoo." I waver my hand at the dark-type but he only gets up again, all revved up in his battle stance as he readies to once again leap out at me with his ultimate 'tackle' attack.

"Not in this lifetime." the poochyena merely replies, not looking all too happy with me. Geez, talk about temper issues. Seriously, did the guy wake up on the wrong side of the leaf pile or something? He glares at me through coal black eyes, flashing his pearly fangs. "I told you to leave and you refused. You wouldn't listen even after I warned you...and for that, you're going down, zigzagoon."

Zigzagoon.

Instantly I take my hands – er, wait, these are _paws_! - and hold them up to examine them closely. They're tiny and furry, with little white claws sticking out from all three fingers (toes?) and they're shaking uncontrollably as if I'm going through some kind of drug withdrawal. Using the shaky paws, I reach up at my face to feel the finer details. There's a tiny button nose extended from a short muzzle...oh, there's my eyes, those feel normal...now where'd my ears go?...ah, there's one! Holy crud – that's _mine_? It's all floppy and bristly and...

Ohhh...shoot me now. My eyes wander down to the rest of my body only to see a tiny torso of bristly fur alternating between cream and brown colours, coming to a rest at the ground where two small feet hide slightly beneath bushels of pine-like fur; similar if not an exact replica of my hands (paws – whatever they are). Thinking I've seen the worst, I grasp at my beating heart with a still-shaky, clawed hand only to hear a strange thumping noise from behind me. I spin my head around quickly and almost cry out at the sight of this _huge_...what is that? A tail, yes, a _tail_, sticking out and extending from my rear end. The thing's enormous...at least, compared to the rest of my body. And as I see that monster of a tail sloshing around behind me, the realisation finally kicks in for real.

"Son of a...I really _am _a zigzagoon..."

The poochyena gives me this odd look, cocking his head and all. As if it hasn't _ever _seen a normal human have their soul transferred to an entirely new species – a Pokemon species at that, one that doesn't even exist in the first place – in its pathetic excuse of a life. In fact...

"You don't exist." I conclude, pointing off at the black-furred dog.

"Pardon?" the poochyena asks now, appearing even more confused. He only stays this way for a while though before he fixes its eyes upon me once more, slanting his eyes and resuming his battle posture. "You fool – how stupid do you think I am?"

"Quite." I respond. The creature steps closer, lashing out with his fangs. Oops. Probably shouldn't have said that...?

My legs space out slightly and I raise up two brown paws, curled into tiny fists as I take my own stance. Well, it looks like I have no way out of this but to actually fight the thing. "You wanna battle me?" I ask, taunting it. "I say: bring it on, Short Stuff. Bring it on."

Boy, am I good at getting on one's nerves. Just a simple nickname and I've already successfully gotten the poochyena in a full blown rage. He charges at me once more – but this time, I am ready for the offense. Or...more ready than I was before. It's not at all an understatement to say that I _have _had my experience in battling. Not actually inside the body of a pokemon but...

Yes, I do play Pokemon. Or rather, _did, _in my real life before...this happened_. _By now, I think I have made my point clear that I'm not exactly one of this world. I am a human; an Earthling as some would say. The Pokemon franchise is – was – my favourite of the many video game series, I have to admit. Not an avid gamer, to tell the truth...in fact, I spend most of my time engaging myself exploring music and literature, which I have chosen to pursue in college the coming Fall. Pokemon however, was always a thrill to me. Although I have reached age 18 – adulthood, as they say – I still continue to buy the many Pokemon games and engage in the enchanting gameplay. I don't think I could ever explain it, but there's something about collecting and battling the cute, squishy monsters that enticed me at a young age. And still entices me to this day.

That being said: yes, I do have experience battling, as I have previously stated. I have played through many of the Pokemon games and though I was never as good as the more _elite _Pokemon fanatics, I understand type advantages, disadvantages...how to use moves and strategies that work to my liking...and what moves some of the different monsters did and could learn.

But yet.

A zigzagoon...it's still rather absurd to me. There was still no way any of this could be happening – it was quite obviously some kind of distorted nightmare. But alas; dream or no dream, I was in a situation where I needed to act quickly. Seeing as I was a zigzagoon, it would be likely that my moveset would be...well, let's be honest, less than stellar. I remember some of the moves zigzagoon learns early on – tackle...growl...sand attack? - so, that's a start, at least.

Judging that growl wouldn't do anything to defend me from the incoming tackle attack and countering with my own tackle might KO me straight on (not that I would have any knowledge of it, but I could imagine that the poochyena may have quite the rocky skull), I decide to go with the latter option. I bend down with one forepaw barely skimming the ground as I wait for the poochyena to come as close as possible without making contact. I get a bit nervous with waiting for him – geez, this has to be the slowest tackle attack in the history of Pokemon_kind –_ and although he isn't as close as he can get to me, I attack early and swipe at the earth, sending dusty particles of dirt at my opponent in a small, rising cloud.

Well, despite being a bit early, my attack manages to take effect as I had hoped. The poochyena suddenly slides to a stop and cries out in pain.

"My eyes!" he snarls, reaching up to rub the sand-stricken orbs and I stare in astonishment. Wow...that actually _worked_? I hadn't suspected that I'd be able to pull off my first attempt at an attack so efficiently. Then again – I am experienced.

I would've stood there with my mouth agape for a while if I could, but I have work to attend to. While the poochyena is still rubbing the debris from his eyes, I proceed to run towards him as fast as these stubby little legs can possibly take me.

Which isn't very fast.

Actually, I'm rather surprised at how aggravatingly _slow _I'm going. I mean, I know zigzagoon mustn't be the fastest pokemon around and running on two legs rather than four probably makes it worse...but really, _this _slow? This is hardly one centimeter an hour. I would've went on all four legs to try to go faster, but in all honesty, I've never really practised walking on four legs before. So instead, I muster all the speed I can and head...slowly...very slowly...toward my opponent.

Halfway there. Gee, at this pace, the poochyena will quickly gain the upper hand and attack me before I even manage to get close to him. I'm truthfully starting to wonder how hard it is for the sorry creature to administer to the pain and regain its vision. I'm just thankful I managed to hit him spot-on, or else...

Ah, finally. As I make it close enough to the poochyena, I act upon my next move. A battle cry rings from my tiny throat to forewarn the animal of the attack. After that, I clobber 'im. That's right. I leap right on top of him and tackle him to the ground, resulting in a high-pitched yelp from my foe. I give him no time to react to anything as I reach for his face, scratching as hard as I can with my new claws. Wow, they really do come in handy; and to think I was going to crazy soon if I didn't find myself a nail clipper.

"W-wait! Stop! Please!" the creature begs finally after I successfully create a tic-tac-toe board across his face (Ha...I bet _normal_ zigzagoon from the game take a lot longer to learn a fury swipes attack). I look at him for a second, wondering if he's telling the truth. I mean, I may not be an expert at pokemon or anything, but I thought I remembered reading distinctively in the game PokeDex once that most poochyena never tire of chasing their foe until -

_Snap!_

...ow! OK, if you've never been bitten by a dog before, I can say right now, with certainty, that it _freaking hurts. _I shake my arm here and there, trying to throw the bloody thing off but it just won't let go! What a terrible thing, to have your arm slowly being devoured while you can do absolutely nothing about it in the meantime. My first couple of minutes as a pokemon and I've already become someone else's snack. Wonderful. Just...wonderful.

"Wait a minute...this isn't over yet!" I refuse, stamping my foot angrily. "There's plenty of other zigzagoon in this world you can take out for dinner but I am definitely _not _a choice on the menu; and I won't be anytime soon!" The poochyena's eyes look up at me, wondering if I'm going to try something.

Which I do.

Just as the monster lifts its great head to look at me, I bash my own skull directly into that of my opponent. This forces him to let go of my arm due to the pain, but I can't say the poochyena is the only one who gets the full blunt of the attack...

"Holy – its head really _is _made of rock!" I scream in anguish, grabbing for my own head, which has so suddenly collided with that boulder of a cranium. It tips me off balance completely and I fall, back-side first; which really isn't very pleasant, seeing as my backbone already hurts much from forcing my body to stand erect like a human's.

But I can't stop – not now! The poochyena is already recovering and me, well...I'm just about on the verge of fainting. _I am such a weak pokemon,_ I think to myself, downhearted.

"Gerrrr..." he growls, picking himself up of the ground (oh dear...). He gives its fur a rough shake, blinks a few times to make sure he has gotten all the sand out of his eyes, and then approaches me. _Oh, merciful heavens...please spare me from this creature's terrible jaws, _my mind prays as he comes before me, standing just over my body in a way that I can actually see the drool forming along the bottom of his maw.

"Al-right..." he smiles (menacingly, if I may add). "You've had your fun. Now lift your chin up a tad so I can get a better view of that neck of yours."

Now, _that_ doesn't sound suspicious at all. I turn my head, not exposing any neck meat but simply twisting it at an angle so I can get a proper look at the kid's face and glare directly into his eyes. "You must be joking," I state, cocking an eyebrow slightly. "If you want to get any chance at my throat, you're going to have to pry at it yourself."

The poochyena slants his eyes in response. "Fine, then." He lowers its face down at me and opens that wide mouth of his around my neck, trying to find the perfect position to get at before he clamps down. A silly thing to note is that the pokemon must not have any intention of killing me, judging by the fact that he doesn't seem to be searching for my jugular vein specifically, but rather, is trying to fit his mouth to my throat almost like a jigsaw puzzle. Still, I am in _no _mood to be bitten by those sharp incisors again, especially since my arm is still bleeding a little from the first time the crazy mutt tried to make a meal out of me.

I need to find a way out of this somehow...so I try the first thing that comes to mind.

As the animal continues to loom over me, his hot (and rather smelly) breath against my skin, I fix my eyes somewhere behind my attacker, changing my worried expression to that of one surprised as if whatever I'm seeing back there is interesting enough to make me totally forget about the sorry position I'm in. I guess the poochyena notices, because he gives me an odd look, his mouth still opened wide around the edges but no longer searching my neck for the perfect place to make an indentation.

"Is that...what I think it is?" I say, finally.

The poochyena stands back up and takes a quick look around. "What? Where?"

"I wonder where that must've come from," I muse aloud. "A big piece of steak, perched right up there in the branches of that tree. Oh, and it looks so juicy, too...just watch it drip...there must be a ton of nutrients packed into that sucker, eh? Why, I can almost smell it from -"

"The tree!" he exclaims. He turns around and begins looking up at the large tree frantically. "Where is the steak? I can't see it! Where is it? Where?!" There is a hungry look in his eyes and there are literally waterfalls of saliva pouring from the panting mouth.

Amazing; so 'steak' actually exists in the Pokemon World apparently, as this poochyena seems to know exactly what I'm talking about. That could be a good or a bad thing, depending on the situation – but as for this situation in particular, I can easily use it to my advantage to escape, which is exactly what I was hoping for to begin with.

While my foe is distracted, I shuffle back up to my feet as quickly as I can. My head is spinning – from the hit to my head, or perhaps I'm still not quite adjusted to this body – and I nearly fall over as I stumble off to somewhere, anywhere I can possibly hide. I know I'm not going to be able to outrun the speed of the poochyena, so I'm sure as long as I can conceal myself enough, I can set him off my trail. Quickly, I spot a nice bush that looks large enough for me to fit myself into and I start heading toward it when I realise that the two skinny trees in my way create a small opening that seems too risky for me to try to squeeze through. Instead, I step around the trees, using them for standing support all the while as I guide myself to my destination.

_Al-right, there's the bush, _I sigh in relief. I let go of the trees and take a dive for it. Unfortunately, the interior is filled with many branches and prickly needles, and I struggle as I try to make my way inside, feeling my body being slashed and scratched violently as I squirm.

The poochyena, of course, takes notice.

After sniffing around in the air, trying to catch scent of the 'steak' it was looking for, he hears the rustling of the bush and notices my attempts to get away. "Hey!" he growls, his fur stiffening. "You get back here!" Without a moment to lose, he charges right for me again. This time, I know there is no way I can escape. I prop myself up to face my opponent as he heads toward me, bringing out my forepaws in front of me with which to defend myself. I pull one back, readying it for a slashing for when the dog gets close enough, but before he can, he somehow pauses in mid-charge. I blink in bewilderment, puzzled as to what suddenly stopped the poochyena in his tracks. My lips slowly curl into a large grin as I realise that the pokemon had jumped right in between the small opening in the trees that I had just a second later, avoided...and with good reason. The poochyena's head had gotten stuck, fastened in tightly between the gap of the two trees like the cream in an oreo sandwich. Even as he pushes and pulls, the stubborn head refuses to budge and I find myself at a loss for words.

I am one lucky raccoon.

Now, I hate to admit that I _lost _a battle because technically I never really KO'ed my foe as in a proper pokemon battle. But I did manage to evade his attacks enough to the point that I saved myself from becoming the victim: rolled up, beaten and unconscious against the earth. At this point, I really care nothing about winning the battle that we started, I am just happy I made it out alive. However – that doesn't mean I don't like to have my fun.

"I always thought it was cats who got stuck in trees," I teased. "But this – now, this is different. This is interesting. I'd hate to mention that you've barked up the wrong tree, as that's a pretty weak and corny pun, even for me...but, oops. I guess I already did."

The poochyena thrashes, snapping for any little piece of my body close enough to tear at for that last remark. "I will break your neck," he snarls. "I will _kill_ you!"

"_I am the chaaampion,_" I sing, bringing my arms up and swinging my body around in a taunting dance. "_I am the chaaampion! No time for losers, 'cause I am the chaaampion...of the wooooorrrllddd!_"

I swear, in that instant, his face almost turns completely red. Steam is coming out of his ears and nostrils; I swear on my newly acquired body. He is struggling harder now, tearing at the bark with his claws, actually scraping bits and pieces of it off. Although I am rather tempted to stay here and belt out an entire playlist of Queen songs at the silly animal all day long (they're one of my favourite bands!), I know no amount of fun is worth that of my life. Now that I have the ability to escape, it would be smart and worth my while to actually do so while the opportunity stands. So with that, I turn around and take my leave – not without giving the poochyena a wink and stuck-out tongue on my part.

I can hear the monster growling, barking and snarling from behind me and I trip and stumble in a haste as my two stubby legs attempt to pick up the pace.

...

'Routes' in real life, rather than games, are larger and more spacious than they appear.

And there's no true indicator of "tall grass", where you usually go off to catch wild pokemon and avoid when you don't wish to encounter any. Yup, that's how it was in the games...but I guess when a computerized location from a game becomes an actual place that you can breathe and walk upon, the same rules don't necessarily apply.

It doesn't exactly help that I don't know where the hell I am – though, I can make the near accurate guess (judging from the pokemon I've seen thus far – me, the zigzagoon, the poochyena attacker and the wurmple I saw just a second ago that I cleverly avoided eye contact with) that I must be on one of those 'beginner' routes...you know, the ones where starting n00b trainers start out their Pokemon Journeys or whatever.

I realise that I've started panting as I walk – not only am I terribly thirty, but the sun's rays on my back are excruciatingly hot and I can feel the sweat dripping from out of my bristly fur. So much so, that I wish I could just tear this blanket of hair from off of my body, leaving only the thin layer of pink skin as a substitute.

"Stupid sun..." I growl, slanting my eyes up at it. My pace is getting slower and my legs are shaking. Great. I don't think they're quite used to walking as much as I have, especially since my bipedal stance is no doubt putting extra pressure on the back legs, which are built to be accompanied by the forelegs to bear the weight of my body. But I can't help it. I refuse to walk like an animal – I may look like one, but that doesn't mean I _am _one. I am purely human, and perhaps if acting so, whatever person, thing or weird force of nature that trapped me inside this body would kindly return me back to the correct one...and to the correct _world_, if that's not too much to ask.

I take a couple more steps but by then, my legs really cannot take it any longer. They collapse from underneath me and I fall onto the tender earth. I attempt to lift myself a couple times using my arms, but they seem just as tired as my legs are and fail to pick up my body. That being said, I lay there for a while, allowing the sun to slowly melt me away into nothingness.

I want to get up, I really do. Out here in the open, there are probably plenty of other wild pokemon like the poochyena from earlier that would be happy at their chance to slaughter me until my consciousness slips away entirely.

But I can't get up. My body feels like its burning, on fire, and any minute now I will be nothing more than a pile of ash to be swept off by the wind. And, as if the heat in itself isn't bad enough, something more is beginning to bother me, adding only more pain to my experience as a pokemon.

My head is pounding wildly with a wicked headache. All around me, the sounds seems intensified tenfold – the chattering of other pokemon and even human children at play (which, for all I know, could be miles away from where I am) is like a mob of screaming fans at a concert, and the rustling of grass and wind, sounds which would have never once annoyed me before, imitate loud, out-of-pitch whistling that scratches harshly at my ears like nails on a chalkboard. My head feels like its about to explode and I grab the sides of it, trying to keep the dynamite on the inside from going off.

Oh, and the smells! There must be some kind of wild flowers or something, because although I can't see them, their strong scents are much like that of deathly perfume and it gives my nasal cavities that ridiculous feeling of soreness which forces me to use one hand from my head to assist my nose. The flowers! The dew-tipped grass! My own sweat excretion! I can smell it _all_!

But no matter how hard I try to block any noise or stench from entering my passageways, they seem to find their way in and cause the throbbing in my head to grow, and grow, and grow – my misery increases with every passing second.

"Why?!" I ask desperately, bringing my head up enough to stare into the endless sky. "Why me?! What have I done to deserve this?" My face falls back into the dirt, my neck muscles apparently too weak to hold it up any longer. I wince, my nose making a rougher collision than I had expected – darnit, I forgot I had a snout now. Gotta make a note to myself to be more careful...

"Hey, are you OK?" comes a voice, and I attempt to lift my head again to get a good look at whoever it is. My eyes blink, and I notice my eyesight is blurring and the crazy dizzy spells are making it almost completely impossible to perceive the figure in front of me.

I try to make some sort of noise but my throat is dry, hardly able to speak and I realise: This really _must _be a dream. Someone, perhaps my mother, is trying to rouse me and as soon as I close my eyes, I'll re-open them to find myself tangled up in the covers of my bed, being consulted by a panicky parent trying to wake me up with only fifteen minutes before my first course at school starts.

Knowing this, I feel a sense of relaxation and let my eyes slowly close, ready to wake up from this nightmare. As I do so, the slurred voice fades away until it becomes nothing more than a soft murmur:

"Nooo, don't be like that! Come on, wake up! Wake up! Good Arceus, please, wake uuuupp..."


	3. Learning To Be Zigzagoon

**Chapter Two**

"Ugghhnn..."

I slowly moan as my eyesight is restored, giving me back the perception of where I am. Which, at first I'm not quite sure where I am to be honest. After a quick look around, I seem to be in some kind of a cave – not anything impressive at all, really. It appears as though I'm in a den, maybe...with walls made of tree bark?

That's it – I must be inside the nook of a tree. But how did I get there? As a matter of fact, am I not, as a human, a bit too big to fit inside a tree's opening? Either that, or it has to be some kind of a big tree, like the one they have in Disney World at the Animal Kingdom.

"Hey! You're alive after all!" shouts a face right into my own, a face of large brown eyes and a crooked, jaggered grin.

"Sweet mother of -" I start, darting away from the face and getting as far back away from it as I can, which isn't really much judging by the size of the den. I stand up fully, propping myself flat against the wall as I stare down at the menacing creature – oh...it's only a zigzagoon. I get confused for a moment about why this creature, a pokemon, even _exists_, not to mention talks to me in my own spoken language. My brain, a slow processor when nearly half asleep, finally puts together the pieces of the puzzle: I was a zigzagoon myself before I settled back into sleep, wasn't I? But then, how come, after waking back up again...

"Why am I still here?" I ask, talking to the zigzagoon as if I'm having a normal conversation with an old friend (how on earth am I managing not to panic at this point?). "If I fall asleep in the middle of the dream, doesn't that mean the dream should be over?"

The other zigzagoon, lower than I am as he is standing on all-fours, tilts his head. "Errr, yes. You woke up just now. Your dream is over," he assures, still looking up at me rather awkwardly.

OK...calm down. Let's try not to act suspicious. I bring myself down to his level – it's odd standing on four legs and I have to say, fairly uncomfortable. Still, perhaps this other zigzagoon would be more inclined to help me if I didn't act like such an alien to his species. "Look, you and I are both zigzagoon," I tell him, stating the obvious. "We're brethren...almost family, right? Do you think maybe you could help me with out a little something?"

He tilts his head a little, but I can still tell he's finding my antics from before quite strange. "I'm listening..." he merely states.

"All right, good," I sigh in relief. For the short duration of time I've been a pokemon, the entire world seemed to be against me, so it's nice to finally have someone there to at least listen to what I have to say – even if it does happen to be nothing more than a tiny raccoon. "Well, you see, I'm having a bit of a problem. I'm here by a...mistake. Yeah, a rather small mistake. I'm sort of trying to get home, but I have no idea where to go from here, so it would be nice to have some sort of guidance so I know I'm at least going in the right direction?"

"Oh, that's it, then?" he says, sounding rather casual about the ordeal. "So, where are you from? Would you say you're more near Littleroot, or up a little further past Petalburg...in the forest, perhaps?"

"Uh...well...actually..." I must have this blank stare on my face as I stand there, because the _other_ zigzagoon's eyes slowly widen as I try to give time to ponder my answer.

"Just how far away are you from here, exactly...?" he manages to squeak.

"Let's just say..." I take a deep breath, finally giving up on deciding on an actual destination. "Very, _very_, far..." I suddenly notice how I'm standing on my forepaws like a normal zigzagoon would, and find it odd why I'm standing that way – after all, I'm not used to standing on all fours like this, only somehow I had propped myself up this way on instinct. Anyway, the unusualness to the sensation drives me to pick myself back up on my hindquarters again, but as I do so, they seem to wobble like jelly and collapse from underneath me and, next thing I know, I find myself embarrassedly smacking into the dirt ground face-first in front of one of my own kind. Degrading.

"Well, wherever you're from, you must be from a place where the zigzagoon really aren't too bright," he puts, helping me up by grabbing a chunk of my neck's scruff to prop me up (Seriously, this is starting to really make me feel like an animal...can't he just let me get up on my own?).

"You're implying that I'm stupid?" I counter, not showing any hostility whatsoever; just asking a simple question. "So, what if I am? There's no rulebook anywhere that says I can't be stupid. If I want to be a little dumb, let me be a little dumb – don't judge me for that!"

The other zigzagoon's smile actually widens. "Well, at least from where you come from, the zigzagoon must be a lot more expressive; not afraid to argue or stand up against other pokemon – I kinda like that..." He shifts his eye contact away, seemingly a bit ashamed. "The zigzagoon here, to be quite honest with you, are quite the sorry bunch. They used to be a lot more bold and fierce, until more poochyena showed up...not to mention, all the new trainers who come around here trying to catch their first pokemon. But now...well, now, many of them are quite timid and prefer to hide away in burrows like these. Too many dangers out there for them, and they're just not courageous enough to go out there for very long. And to think, it used to be so utterly common to see zigzagoon walking every which way around here..."

I think he's going to end his speech then, but he keeps on. "You, though...now, you show a lot more spirit. When I found you out there, you had poochyena bites all over your neck." He sees me starting to reach to my throat to feel for the marks but it must not be that big of a deal, because he quickly changes the subject. "They aren't severe or anything, though, really. Not much blood loss...just marks. The younger poochyena don't have sharp enough teeth to scrape us up too badly, but they're just as violent and wild as the older ones. Most of them threaten to eat us, but they're usually not smart enough to actually kill us...besides, they're omnivores, and they can survive on berries just as well as another pokemon's meat. I guess they just prefer how we taste as compared to the fruit – or maybe they just like picking on us. Not really sure. The mightyena though...well, they're pretty rare to find around these parts, but they're much more of a problem. If you ever ran into one, I'd say you'd have to be pretty lucky to escape their savage jaws alive."

"Yeah, yeah...just because I don't live around here doesn't mean I don't know anything about poochyena, or mightyena for that matter," I finally speak up. "Look, it was very nice of you to bring me in, but I really should get going." I attempt to get back up on my feet again – still not quite sturdy, but I manage to keep myself upright without falling over.

"To where?" the zigzagoon prods, staring at my quivering legs.

"Well, I need to go home...don't I?"

"Yes, but, what's with the hurry, friend?" he chirps. "It's only morning – you have all day to get up and out of here. Plus, you should probably eat something. Here," The zigzagoon turns around for a second and I peek over to see that he's digging softly at the ground with his white claws. Instantly, I realise where our "breakfast" is coming from and I try to keep myself from gagging. The small brown and white creature grabs a patch of berries from the tiny hole in the ground, hanging off a small vine much like grapes. He spits the contents down at my feet and smiles. "Go ahead: eat. I have plenty stored up. Should last at least a week's worth, if my hunch is accurate."

I slowly grab for the berries, my stomach grumbling with hunger pangs while my nose scrunches up, turning away and wanting nothing to do with the provided food. "How old are these...?" I ask retentivity.

"Oh, only a couple days. Picked 'em fresh, too," the zigzagoon brags, gulping down a berry from his own small helping. As the zigzagoon eats, I pick at the berries and take a small nibble at one blue orb – only to find that it really doesn't taste that bad. Actually, it's quite juicy and flavourful! I quickly swallow the first one before reaching down and stuffing my face with the rest. My mouth is smaller than I'm used to and I have to slow down and stuff them with only one or two going in at a time.

"Hah! See, much better, isn't it?" the zigzagoon laughs, his lips splotched with blue.

"I must admit," I reply, grabbing another of the round, blue berries with my claws (I'm actually noticing at how much easier it is to grab at these berries with claws rather than fingers) and popping it into my mouth, "You have most excellent taste in berries."

"Oran are always the best," the zigzagoon exclaims, almost pridefully. "And you can find them everywhere here. I don't know what kind of berries they have where you live, but you should probably take some oran with you on your trip; you know, share them with your family and everything. I bet they'd love it too."

"I'm sure," I reply, tossing down another berry. "A very nutritious and balanced breakfast to start of a marvelous day. Why, I feel as if I'm ready to go already!" Still up on my feet, I attempt to make a run for the fresh air outside the fellow zigzagoon's burrow...I guess it's not really smart of me, because I just end up falling on the floor again.

"Errrrr...before you go, _maybe_ I should give you a couple pointers?"

I lift my face from the dirt slightly. "Oh, fine. But _just _a couple."

...

"First of all, I'd recommend going around on four legs rather than two; I'm not really sure how the zigzagoon do it from where you're from, but you seem to have a little trouble...er, walking..."

Out in the fresh air, I can smell the different flowers, plants and berries from all over the place and it's actually quite pleasurable – I'm sure I would enjoy it more if it wasn't for this little raccoon 'mentor' distracting me from my first real feelings of peace and serenity in this hapless Pokemon world.

"It might be weird to you, but all the zigzagoon around here believe firmly in using all four of their legs and trust me, it's a lot easier," he continues. "Plus, it helps you build up your speed too; really, I see no advantages for going around as a two-legged. Many two-legged pokemon aren't quite as speedy as we are, and since we aren't quite as high in attack and defence as them, our speed becomes a much more important factor."

"OK, when you said you would give me pointers..." I interrupt (not rudely, I concur!), "I thought you meant you were going to show me how to get home," I start absentmindedly start scratching that spot behind my ear with a forepaw, "Not that I'm..._ungrateful, _or anything. I just didn't exactly sign up for walking lessons."

"Well now...first off, I'm not even exactly sure _where _you live or _where _you came from," He looks at me, almost in thought for a moment before using his head to tip my leg over, causing me to trip (the hell!). "Second – stand up like a normal zigzagoon! You're embarrassing me with your silly antics."

Grumbling, I obey and stand up as he says. It feels odd to stand up this way, as if I just shrunk down half my own size – and suddenly, I'm not looking down at the other zigzagoon like I would an animal, but instead he seems rather equal to me.

"You look better already," he nods with approval.

"Good," I reply, albeit bitterly. "Now that I've stood like you've wanted, can we please go now?" I've already started walking a couple steps in front of me, concentrating on bringing one paw in front of the next – walking on four of 'em is a lot harder than it looks, but I'm surprised how well I can walk without giving my full attention to the matter, as if it's locked in to my zigzagoon psyche much the way my nose twitches on its own without my notice.

"All right..." he finally seems to give in. He looks at me, but somehow, it appears as though he's hiding something. "I'll help you find your way home, but first, a little race..." A tiny smile appears along the line of his muzzle.

"A race? Are you nuts?" I retort, turning around and taking a step toward him. "You've been a zigzagoon a lot longer than I – I mean, you've been walking on four legs long before I have. I just learned how to walk this way...it wouldn't be fair," I begin pacing around him as a predator circles its prey. "You know as well as I do, I'm no match."

"Relax; you seem to be getting the hang of it already. See?" He motions for me to stop and I do; wow, I really _have_ started to walk on all fours as if it were second nature. Maybe I have a chance after all – not to toot my own horn, but as a human, I was a pretty fast runner. Long legs, I had not, but I could still manage to keep up with those who had that advantage over me and even outrun some of them. So what if this zigzagoon has the advantage of being born and having lived his whole life as a pokemon? I have a background of being rather speedy and agile...that should equal us out in terms of advantages and disadvantages.

"OK, fine..." I mutter, "But afterwards, you're going to help me like you promised, whether I win or lose."

The zigzagoon lifts his eyebrows. "Sounds fine to me," he says, his grin getting a little larger – I swear I saw one of his teeth shine from under the jagged fur around his mouth. He points off to a tree that's perfectly visible from where we're standing and really not too far from us by the looks of it. "The first one to that big oak over there wins," he states. "Are you ready?"

"Hah...I was born ready," I reply, getting into a starting stance with my head and front paws to the ground and my bum up in the air. I can't help but smile amusedly to myself as I look at the other zigzagoon, who doesn't seem to be making an effort to get off on a good starting note and stays firmly standing as if he were going to watch the race, not participate in it; it looks like I've finally outsmarted him on something, and even something as small as this was worth it.

"OK!" he announces, and without any hesitance, "3...2...1..._go_!"

As soon as he utters that last word, I'm off. I'm a little disappointed to find that running isn't that much faster than walking and I'm worried as to why. However, I look back over my shoulder and see that the latter zigzagoon hasn't even started running yet, still choking on the dust I sent up off the ground when I took off, it seems. _Well, at least he won't be able to catch up with me now, _I think to myself confidently, _there'd be no way he could after such a delay. _Instead of thinking anymore about him, I focus myself on the race and allow my gaze to fall onto the tree as it slowly gets closer and closer. My legs seem to be struggling to go faster and I feel like I might be pushing them – really, do we honestly make up for attack and defence with speed? Nonsense; I'm sure even that poochyena could've caught up with me at my pace.

The tree comes closer into view and I push harder, trying to exert my energy to its fullest. How could my legs be moving so fast whilst I'm still going so slow? I continue running toward the tree as fast as I can possibly muster, when a flash of brown and white zips past me and I look up in bewilderment. What? How on earth is he going so - ?

My exhaustion from all the energy I've put forth, plus my sudden surprise, makes me stop in my tracks. I pant heavily, my legs shaking under me as if I'd worn them down to the bone, as I watch the zigzagoon picking up speed toward the tree. Instantly, I realise what I've been doing wrong – I had been running in a straight line, whereas my zigzagoon opponent zigzagged his way up, going from left to right and back again. Of course, _'zigzags'_ – that's why a zigzagoon is called a zigzagoon. How could I have been so blind to that? What I don't quite understand though, is how zigzagging could ever be faster than running straight ahead of yourself; if anything, it seems as though it would take more time rather than less.

It doesn't take the zigzagoon much longer to make it to the tree and when he makes it there, he stands next to it in triumph with his tail held high. He looks over at me, than zigzags to the place where I stopped. "Just as I thought..." he says, looking at me with interest. "She doesn't walk on four legs, and she doesn't zigzag either. That could only mean one thing..."

It's about time he figured it out. I just roll my eyes, waiting to hear him actually say it to confirm my situation, "Yeah, that's right...you got me. I'm not really a -"

"The zigzagoon from where you live haven't been living _at all_! Why, they've evolved in such a way that they can't even keep up to an arceus-forsaken lotad! Boy, this is worrisome...very worrisome indeed. A very serious matter..." His face seems to display exactly what he's thinking. He fixes a firm stare with me, making sure I'm listening to him before he continues, "I'm glad you showed up here...it's very important that I teach you how to walk and run correctly. If you were to learn this, you could go back and teach the rest of your clan, and they could teach others, who would in turn teach others, still...just think of how many lives we'd be saving!"

I'm about to protest, but then I remember my fight with the poochyena the day before – what if I hadn't gotten his head stuck between the trees? I probably wouldn't have ran fast enough to lose him. What would happen if I were to meet another poochyena – or something much more threatening? It would be important for me to learn how to escape, at least. After all, I'm too young to die, and I certainly don't want to die as a pokemon either.

"I know, I did promise I'd help you home after our race..." the zigzagoon says, bringing me out of my thoughts and back into reality (hah, reality...that's funny). "So, I will. I don't know where you live and I can't venture too far from my home, but I can take you as far as Petalburg Woods. From there...well, from there you're on your own. I've never been any further than that," he gives out a chuckle, "If I did, I'd be in sooo much trouble. I do know, however, that there is a forest is likely the only path you can take by land that leads further into Hoenn, unless you were to travel by sea..." He looks me over; I still must be a pitiful sight, "...which, doesn't seem too likely. The forest would be the easier route...but I'd have to advise you to be careful when you go on your way. There's no knowing what could be in there, so I'd proceed with caution..."

"Ah, Petalburg Woods is no big deal; been through that place many-a times..." I brag with a flick of my paw, remembering back to the RSE games. It wasn't dark enough for one to need HM Flash, and it was short and easy to get through just like Viridian City in RBY. However, I keep seeming to forget that I haven't actually traveled inside the actual forest and as an actual pokemon to boot. Still, it appears to impress my new friend.

"Petalburg! So that's where you must've come from to end up over here, eh?" His eyes are shining just thinking about it, it seems. "Man, if I didn't have such tight restrictions, I'd join you. Sounds like you've had quite the adventure on your way over here, and you're probably in for another on the way back...gosh, I'm so jealous of you."

"Jealous? Of me?" I repeat, shaking my large head of fur. "You have _no _idea who you're saying this to."

"True," the zigzagoon chides, "After all, you've spent all this time without any knowledge of how to outrun your enemies...every day, a struggle for survival, just hoping nothing larger comes around to take your life at any minute. You poor, sorry sap..."

"Why don't you teach this poor, sorry sap how to 'zigzag' properly on our way to Petalburg? I would be..._honoured _to be under your good instruction," I joke with a smirk.

"Hah! Well, it's quite simple, really..." he starts. We begin walking to our destination – he slowly zigzags and I mimic the zigzag movement for myself, zigging and zagging alongside him. "It may take a couple seconds to get going, but once you're going, you're going. You just keep zigzagging to build up your momentum, and the rest follows suit..."

...

The day's already more than half way through now that we've actually made it to Petalburg. It's so weird to see what I'm so used to seeing as simple 2D graphics on a gameboy advance game as actual buildings and homes – I'm not quite as shocked as I was when we passed through Odale, because that was the first time I had actually witnessed such a phenomenon. However, Petalburg, like in the games was a bit larger, with a bit more roaming space and a gym. The gym, I have to say, is pretty fantastic...it looks so much more magnificent than I could've ever imagined. I'm curious to go inside and see how much better it must look in full 3D, but I know I wouldn't do it if my life depended on it. After all, there would be humans inside, wouldn't there?

"All right, we've reached the town..." the zigzagoon by my side breaths out. He dives behind a small house near the gym and I follow; we performed the same procedure in Odale, where we went from behind one building and sneaked out behind the next. At first, I wasn't quite sure what we were doing but it didn't take me long to realise that we were making sure to remain unseen from possibly our biggest threat: humans.

Humans: my own kind. I'm running from them. It sounds pretty dumb, as I probably should be going _toward _them if I want help with returning back to my form. Only, it seems different. I saw glimpses of the people walking around Odale, and even as we ran from behind the trees in the route ahead – in the eyes of a zigzagoon, it's like catching glimpses of Godzilla. Not only that, but they have a weapon: poke balls. I've played the Pokemon games long enough to know I can easily be attacked mercilessly in mere daylight and caught prisoner against my will. I almost feel like I'm in some kind of adventure movie, running as a fugitive with a buddy I broke out of prison with amongst a world full of police with guns. If one of the cops see me, I'm done for; I'm a well-known criminal with a bounty on my head and every single person in the world is out to get me.

A tall woman walks to a spot in the grass and crouches, whistling a tune as she carefully waters a patch of flowers. I can feel my adrenaline picking up and my heart starts beating twenty times a minute with excitement – just look at how close she is to us! Just look at how close _danger _is to us!

I can't take it anymore – I step out from behind the house in plain sight. "Hey, you! Lady! The one in pink floral blouse!" I yell out, getting up on two legs and cupping my paws around my mouth, hoping to amplify my voice that way. She starts to turn her head in our direction, but before she can see me, I feel something yank me back by the tail.

"Are you crazy? You want her to see us?" my zigzagoon friend hisses as he pulls me back into the shadows.

"Ouch! You got a pretty firm grip, there..." I comment, ignoring his spasm as I bend down to brush my tail softly where I had been so ruthlessly grabbed.

"You know what you could've _done_? You could've blown our cover, you knucklehead!" His voice rises now, as if he's really panicked about it, "You know what could've happened then? Yeah, we could've been captured! Captured! I will never have any of that!"

"Geez, it's not that big of a deal," I reply casually, "Relax..."

"Not that big of a deal, she says!" he repeats as if I'm deaf or just extremely stupid, "If we got captured, that would be the end! The end! I'd never see my family _again_ if that happened! I'd be forced to travel with whatever crazy bloke managed to catch me and have to battle against my own will! I will _not _have any of it! I won't!"

"Calm down, or at least speak softer," I mutter, "Or else _you'll_ be the one to blow our cover..."

"No! I will never, _ever _be enslaved! Never!" he growls, seemingly unaware of what I had just said. "Why, if I were caught by one of them, I'd kill myself before they could even lay one of their grimy fingers -"

A shadow creeps over us and I slowly look up to see that same woman in the floral blouse towering above us – and boy, I mean _towering_. Sure, from afar they look big enough but when one of them is standing right next to you, it's mind-boggling! She's so high up from us, the sun even blots her face out completely from view! It's just staggering!

"Auuugh!" she shrieks, a sharp, painful cry that gives me a sharp pain in the head, "Get out of my garden, you good-for-nothing berry thieves!"

I turn to face her. "Thievery? You accuse us of thievery? We were merely passing – whoa!" I quickly bound out of the way as her watering can comes flying right toward me – it nearly misses, luckily for my fast reflexes, and I'm able to retreat in time. I don't waste another second trying to reason, and instead, proceed to zigzag away for my life!

"You better run away!" I hear her call out as I swiftly dart across town, looking for a place to hide, "Come back again, and I'll call the pest exterminator to get rid of your dirty kind!" I'm not sure if she's following us – she probably isn't – but the thought doesn't matter. The speed of my blood pumping through my veins has achieved tenfold, and I run all over Petalburg, diving behind buildings and yet still going without a stop to catch my breath until I finally reach what seems to be the outskirts. With the town and the police force long behind me, I sit down against the trunk of a nice tree to regain the oxygen level in my lungs.

"Whew...that was one wild run..." I slowly gasp through my panting breaths, "I've never felt...quite so alive..." After a couple minutes of regaining myself, I stand up – or if that's what you would call getting up on all fours. Looking around, I suddenly wonder where my zigzagoon friend went off to. Wasn't he right behind me? We were both running from the same thing too, weren't we? So judging by that information, he should be somewhere close by.

"Uhhh, hey, you..." I start up, raising my voice to call him. He didn't ever give me a name if I do recall. I think about it for a minute. "Hey, you...Zigzagoon! Where are you?" I try.

Taking off slowly from the tree, I begin walking around and calling him, hoping for a response of some sort. Really, he couldn't have gotten that far! Why am I having so much trouble locating him? "Zigzagoon! Hey, Zigzagooooooon..." No one seems to be answering. Quickly giving up, I grumble as I sit myself back down in a small patch of grass. For a moment, all around me is silent and I look up at the sky, all ready mid-afternoon with the time still ticking by. The clouds are beginning to darken and I softly growl. Yeah – now is the perfect time for a thunderstorm! I'm lost out here all on my own with no idea where I'm going and no one to guide me. The other zigzagoon _did _say he would take me as far as the Woods, but it really doesn't look as if he's around anymore, or will show up anytime soon for that matter.

I guess that means I'm on my own, again.

With a deep sigh, I get back up again, softly shake the dirt off my fur (surprising me for a second – I can't believe how quickly and easily I'm adapting to the body of a pokemon) and prepare to continue my excursion solo. I barely lift a paw off the ground when I hear a rustling in the bushes. My heart starts up, pounding wildly in my chest as I wonder what kind of creature is rummaging around inside. It shakes a couple more times and I step back as a familiar brown blur leaps from out from the shrubbery and zigzags toward me.

"Oh, it's you!" I cry out as he rushes toward me, "Where the hell have you been?" The zigzagoon doesn't answer, but instead, brushes past me and knocks me over onto the ground before leaping into another bush behind me.

"Well, _that _wasn't rude at all!" I growl, picking myself back off the ground. I stand up again, this time on my hind legs, and curl my paw into a fist. "Look, instead of hiding in the bushes, why don't we head over to the Woods where you promised you'd take me? Don't you think we ought'a gain some distance before the storm kicks in?" The zigzagoon still doesn't answer; the bush doesn't even give a rustle. "Come on!" I grab at the bush, shaking it back and forth as my back legs wobble beneath me, "Don't leave me alone again!...help me...please?"

"Ah HA! There you are!" shouts a voice and I spin around, my heart speeding up again all of a sudden – and for good reason this time. Running right up to greet me is a human boy with a treecko following up by his side. I freeze in place, suddenly feeling like my mobility is restricted by some odd force. He stops in front of me and grins, his wide smile exposing yellow teeth (OK, maybe they weren't yellow, but it was some menacing-arse kind of expression!). "You can't hide from me, little pokemon – you're mine now!"

"Have we met before?" I finally ask, the words somehow escaping off my tongue. No sooner do I say this, when without warning, the kid grabs a small red and white orb in his hand, clicking the button to expand it. My eyes widen and I can almost feel my body start shaking as I try to escape from the frozen position I'm standing in. "Wait a minute!" I say quickly, desperately. "I'm not the one you want! Really! The zigzagoon you want ran just past here, through the bushes!" My paws come up in front of me the way a criminal holds them up after being caught by the police and I realise...I _have_ been caught by the force – but I'm not guilty of any felony! The true wanted criminal is probably still running away as we speak, getting further and further away and leaving an innocent bystander to be taken to jail in his place.

I'm still unable to move as the pokeball flies toward me and I give out a cry as it clonks me silly on the head. There's a strange sensation as if an inescapable force is pulling me in and although I struggle, I cannot face up to the strong gravitational pull of the black hole of a pokeball. I feel squished and cramped up in some kind of tiny space and I sigh, accepting my fate. _It was just about time I'd be caught by some human. Now I'll have to spend my life worshiping and following some pokemon trainer and being forced into battle all across Hoenn...and I'll never be a human again! _

Suddenly, my eyes snap with a steely determination. No – I cannot let this happen! I'm not about to become a slave this easily!

As the small, cramped up area sways slowly back and forth, I begin kicking madly near the centre of the pokeball – where the button that locks up and conceals the pokemon from within is located – with my back legs, hoping to break open the shell from the inside. I feel myself swaying around more violently now and with each kick, the pokeball appears to gain momentum as it shifts from side to side, almost rolling over completely. Seeing as though I'm nearly out, I take more action, bashing my head painfully against the ceiling whilst punching with tiny fists at the sides. The struggle carries on for a little bit, and what feels like five minutes to me must actually be less than one. I'm almost about to give up on my escape completely, until one great last kick creates a snapping sound and the light of the outside world pours in through an opening crack. With my anticipation for freedom achieving tenfold, I bring my legs and arms all out at the same time to finally burst out of the blasted orb completely. I feel my body collide with the ground and I lay there for a while to rest; whoa, that had taken _a lot _of me! I spot the two halves of the broken pokeball near my face – definitely unusable now since I had split it directly down the middle – and exhale sharply, realising how close I had just become to having that dreadful thing as my new lifelong abode.

"Aw, no! I thought I had 'im!" I hear the boy's disappointed voice. From the corner of my eye, I see as he reproduces another pokeball in his hand and my skin starts sweating tremendously from underneath thick patches of fur. Crud, not again! I don't think I'll be able to take it a second time!

With a swing of his arm, another pokeball is propelled at my face. I try to act fast, and struggle quickly to get on my feet before flying out of the target zone. I actually feel the heavenforsaken thing barely sweep past the tip of my tail as I dive out of the way, and I turn my head to watch as it collides instead with a nearby tree (epic fail!). I'm not sure if it's still usable or not, but the boy doesn't seem to think so as he doesn't go off to retrieve it and try again, and instead, starts digging through his backpack for another.

"Augh!" he exclaims as he searches through the pack furiously, "I think that was my last pokeball!" He looks down at his treecko – who hasn't yet spoke nor acted in any way that I was aware of – and bites his tongue. "Now what, Jeff?"

The treecko – Jeff, apparently – merely yawns loudly in response, leaning back against his master's leg. "How about you feed me dinner?" he asks, not looking very amused, "You know, that third meal – the one that comes after lunch?" He folds his arms under his head and continues relaxing against the leg. The human trainer, of course, didn't understand a word out of his treecko's mouth.

"I wanted to catch that..." The boy takes out a small electronic device, that I soon realise is a PokeDex. He points it at me and then looks at the screen. "Oh yeah, zigzagoon." He looks down at Jeff. "I wanted to catch that zigzagoon!"

Well, looks like my work here is done. I begin to walk away from the scene, looking for a place to take shelter; the clouds are getting worse, more grey in colour and the rumbling of thunder can already be heard softly from the sky. As I leave, I hear that silly n00b trainer calling after me. "You wanna leave? Fine, do it! I didn't want you that badly anyway," he seethes.

"I didn't exactly want you either," I pointed out, turning my head around to face him. "See you later...n00b." I stick out my tongue at him and snicker, enjoying the golden moments of taunting and teasing the trainer wanna-be whilst I can. The sky suddenly flashes and gives out a harsh, loud boom and I scream, jumping into the air with my fur sticking up – OK, wasn't expecting that. That's it: it's definitely time to ditch this place.

With a final look at the sorry duo, I take off to who knows where and, although tired, I manage to keep up with my search for a respectable burrow or nest. The thunder gives out another shrieking cry and I start to feel the first of the raindrops as they make contact with my tiny body. At this rate, the storm will probably pick up faster than I can find somewhere to check in. Anything will really do at this point, as long as it shields me from getting drenched or electrocuted, or caught underneath a falling tree or...well, the possibilities are endless. The lighting flashes again and I scurry along the ground even faster to escape the PMSing Mother Nature. It seems like whenever I manage to evade one thing, there's always another to come and take its place to send me running again. Running, running, running...but from what? Death? Ultimate despair?

I hadn't realised before, but being a wild pokemon really takes a lot outta ya. Hopefully, I won't have to endure this much longer, but deep down inside, I know getting myself out of a mess as big as this is going to be far from simple.

Unfortunately, it looks as though I may be here a while...


End file.
